


equilateral

by sevedra



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asexual Character, Asexual Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, M/M, Multiple Personalities, No Ultron, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Soul Bond, Soulmates, The Winter Soldier did NOT kill the Starks, The Winter Soldier is his own self, probably some angst but not that kind of horrifying level
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-01 21:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14529519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevedra/pseuds/sevedra
Summary: Everyone in the world had a soulmate. The universe didn’t leave anyone out, but sometimes it cheated.





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone in the world had a soulmate. Your soulmates first words to you appear somewhere on your body when you are 18. The universe didn’t leave anyone out, but sometimes it cheated. Your soulmate may be too old for you by the time you’re born. Or your soulmate may die before you meet them. Or they may die after you meet them but before the bond activates. Occasionally, soulmates encounter one another and never exchange words. No bond activates between them if they never speak. The universe can be helpful too though. Sometimes if a soulmate dies, and their words fade to silver, a new set of words will appear. Fresh and black and bold. Very few get a second soulmate. And very, very seldom, so rare as to be thought a myth by most, a person manifests two sets of words.

===

Tony Stark has two sets of words. His parents were so horrified by the second set that they insisted he do everything possible to prevent anyone from finding out. The flesh colored sleeves that everyone wore in the 90’s worked well for a long time. In the new century, the sleeves became a fashion statement. Colored sleeves were all the rage. With words on both arms, Tony couldn’t wear two sleeves when everyone else wore only one. So, a bold colored sleeve and a flesh colored one became his standard. It wasn’t easy to hide this from his bed partners. He could usually laugh it off as an eccentricity. However, there were always rumors that something was different, wrong, odd about Tony Stark’s soulmate words.

===

Bucky Barnes never met his soulmate. He’d hoped he would find her in New York, but it just didn’t happen. Then, he’d been afraid he’d find them in the war. That didn’t pan out either. After his imprisonment and being experimented on by Zola, he gave up on having a soulmate. More than that, he started to actively hope he’d never encounter his soulmate. He wanted to die in the war and never go home. He knew he was different now, wrong, odd. He didn’t want to inflict that on a soulmate.

===

The Winter Soldier shouldn’t have had a soulmate. HYDRA didn’t believe he was a person, let alone one with a soul. He was meant to be the distillation of James Barnes. The blunt, obedient essence left when all of Barnes' self was stripped away. In 1970, words appeared on the shoulder of the metal arm. No one could deny their existence. HYDRA tried to eradicate them. They sanded them off. The words returned. They removed the upper section of the arm and replaced it. The words returned. When they could bring their engineer in, they replaced the entire arm. The words returned. At a loss, they covered the words with a bold red star. It was different, wrong, odd. The Winter Soldier should not have a soulmate. As far as they could tell, The Winter Soldier never even knew the words were there.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was old. Past 40 and still unmatched. He’d stopped hoping. He was supposed to have two soulmates and yet neither of them had shown up. Starting a relationship now was practically useless. Most couples had 50 years or more together. With Tony’s shortened life expectancy due to heart and lung damage, even if he met them tomorrow, he’d be lucky to get 20 years. One set of words didn’t sound all that great anyway. He’d be just as well off never meeting that one.

===

Bucky Barnes was glad to be away from HYDRA. He was confused by his soulmate’s words. They were still as strong and bold as ever. His soulmate should have died by now. He was meant to be 90 something years old! If his soulmate was still out there, waiting or not, they must be ancient. There’d be no point now. He was too damaged from years with HYDRA to burden his soulmate anyway.

===

HYDRA was stupid if they thought The Winter Soldier was unaware of his soulmate’s words. He may not be as emotional as Barnes, but he was well informed from Barnes' brain exactly what a soulmate was intended to be. A partner. Someone to care for him. Someone for him to care for. Having a soulmate simply solidified his belief that his existence was justified, valid, purposeful. He may not have been part of Barnes' life before HYDRA, but he was a part of it now. And somewhere, out there in the world, was a person who was made just for him.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony had let the Avengers team move into the tower. He’d set up individual floors for each of them. It was meant to be communal and feel like a family. But the distance they’d all experienced on the helicarrier remained. They lived in the same area but orbited one another like satellites. It was a lonely existence. Steve was searching for his boyhood friend. A man who’d not died after all but been taken prisoner and tortured into a killer for 70 years. It was unthinkable. Tony had culled the files from the SHIELD leak. It was nightmare inducing.

===

Bucky had finally gotten enough of his mind back to be ready to talk to Steve. He’d suffered through more than a week of withdrawal from whatever drugs HYDRA had fed into his system. He’d found the HYDRA bases he knew the locations of in the US and burned them to the ground. He’d found a way to make temporary peace with the extra person in his head. The Winter Soldier having turned out to be a fully formed entity of his own. They’d learned to communicate. They’d learned to switch who was “in charge” of their body. They’d come to terms with sharing. He’d visited the Smithsonian and a few libraries to find out all he could about who he used to be. He was as ready as he would ever be. Time to come in from the cold.

===

The Winter Soldier was adrift without a mission. He’d been happy to help Barnes with his destruction of HYDRA. While he’d been loyal to HYDRA for all his life, he had also been mistreated and suffered along with Barnes. HYDRA had never acknowledged him as a separate man within Barnes. They’d barely acknowledged them as a human at all. They’d been treated like a dog by the American branch of HYDRA. The Russians had at least viewed them as a tool. He and Barnes had come to an agreement. Barnes had been startled to learn that The Soldier was his own person. But he’d read a few books in the library and realized that there would be no point in trying to deny it. They’d settled on exchanging the driving seat, so to speak. Barnes would be allowed to present as the main personality. He was the one that was a known quantity. When they went to The Avengers, those people would be expecting Barnes. Barnes had also decided The Winter Soldier needed a name. James seemed the logical choice.


	4. Chapter 4

The day Steve brought Bucky Barnes to the tower had started as any other day. Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, no warning that anything would be different, not even in hindsight. Tony hadn’t even known Barnes was coming in today. Not like Steve kept him informed of what might be going on in his own tower. So, Tony exited the elevator to the common room in search of coffee because he’d run out in the shop. The whole rest of the team was assembled. Everyone was standing tensely, on high alert. With one man radiating anxiety standing a bit apart from the rest. Tony stopped short. He looked to Cap, who was only looking at the new guy. Tony realized who this must be.

“Freezer pop! Will you be needing your own suite?”

Steve and Barnes both snapped their heads in Tony’s direction. They had identical looks of stunned disbelief on their faces. Barnes recovered first.

“Stark? Really?”

Hearing the words he had dreaded hearing most of his life, Tony smoothed his face into disinterest.

“Really. I’ll get you a floor set up. See you around.” And made his escape back into the elevator, coffee search forgotten.

===

Bucky had stood in the main floor of The Avengers headquarters hiding his fear as well as he could. He’d give just about anything to have James come forward to help. Steve had been so enthusiastic, so positive about Bucky coming here. He had assured him that everyone would welcome him. That he’d have a place there and be safe. That they could work together to recover Bucky Barnes from under the HYDRA induced horror of his brain. He hadn’t had the nerve to tell Steve about The Winter Soldier yet. And given the looks of mistrust and hostility he was receiving from The Avengers, it might have been just as well that he hadn’t. It looked like he may not be staying here after all.

The elevator opened and a short man with an awesome ass passed by him and was most of the way across the room before he seemed to notice the gathering of the team. He turned to face the group. He was very attractive. Bucky could hardly believe he was even noticing, this situation was hardly the right one to be ogling men. He was pretty sure he knew who this guy was. And then he spoke.

“Freezer pop! Will you be needing your own suite?”

Bucky was sure his eyes bulged out. He froze and nearly swallowed his tongue. His stupid mouth got ahead of him and before he knew what he was going to say, he had already spoken.

“Stark? Really?”

Oh god, that was awful. Stark obviously agreed. His face became a blank mask and he said something in a curt tone that Bucky didn’t catch and then was gone. Bucky stared at the closing doors of the elevator, wondering if that had really happened. And if it had, if he had ruined it completely.

===

James may not have been front and center when it happened, but he knew when Barnes found his soulmate. And he knew that Barnes had fumbled it. He sympathized for how devastated Barnes felt, but had no patience for wallowing in self-pity. From the less active portion of Barnes’ brain, he berated him for putting his foot in his mouth. He urged him to pursue Stark and try to salvage things. After all, if Stark was Barnes’ soulmate, then James was going to have to live with him too.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony had always known that if he came across the soulmate who said these words, it would be awful. But he’d thought it would be a total stranger. Not someone he couldn’t walk away from and never see again. In his imagination, he’d come out on top. In reality, he was going to be forced to face Barnes again.

Dum-E brought him a smoothie of dubious origin. All he could muster was a thank you and a pat on the top of his claw. He was lost inside his head. Scolding himself for speaking first for one thing. If he hadn’t said a word to Barnes, then Barnes wouldn’t have had a prompt for that response. Something else would have come out of his mouth and they wouldn’t have to be soulmates and he wouldn’t have to know that Barnes didn’t want him.

Why didn’t Barnes want him? They’d never even met! As near as he could figure, he’d never had any kind of influence on anything to do with Barnes’ life. Barnes had probably somehow already learned about Tony’s frivolous past. The one-night stands. The drinking. The complete lack of interest in his own company that led to Stane being able to sell weapons to terrorists. God only knew what Barnes could have seen or heard in the months since SHIELDRA fell.

Whatever it was, it led to this. Barnes is his soulmate and Tony is rejected out of hand.

===

“Steve. Steve. What just happened?” Bucky was swamped with regret and distress. James was clamoring in the back of his mind. Urging him to follow Stark and fix whatever he’d done to screw this up. But Bucky was immobilized in his shock.

“Buck. I think you know what just happened. Do you want to talk about it here or go to my room for some privacy?”

“Shouldn’t I go after him? Or, yeah, privacy. Definitely, prefer to talk privately.”

“Tony’s…Tony’s odd. He doesn’t act like everyone else. Probably better not to go after him right now. Let’s go sort you out and then you can talk to him when you’re calm and have a plan.”

Bucky followed Steve back into the elevator and down to his personal floor. The other Avengers watched them go without trying to stop them. As the doors closed, he could hear their harsh, low whispers, trying to figure out what was going on. Well, Bucky sure wasn’t going to tell them.

===

James has no use for Barnes talking this over with Steve. Barnes needs to be talking this over with Stark. This whole situation is a mess and it can only get worse the longer they wait to fix it. Barnes needs to tell Stark that he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Barnes is barely able to think for himself, he can’t be expected to be able to start a relationship without help. But this can be salvaged. Barnes doesn’t have to lose Stark just because he’s stupid.

Stark is a good-looking guy. Barnes is lucky. They could do a lot worse for a soulmate. But they’re going to have to come clean. Stark can’t be Barnes’ partner, lover, whatever without knowing about James. And if he can’t handle knowing about James, then Barnes is probably going to lose him anyway.

It’ll have to be handled carefully though. No one else knows about James yet. If Barnes tells Stark, then he’ll probably have to tell Steve too. Barnes doesn’t know Stark yet, there’s not enough information to determine how he may react. But Steve. Steve could be a problem. Steve wants Bucky. Barnes isn’t really Bucky, the Bucky that Steve knew. And with James thrown in the mix, they may never be enough Bucky to satisfy Steve. James is going to have to stay in the background for a while. Likely until Barnes is settled and comfortable in the tower. Until they’re both ready to tell everyone.

But this soulmate thing. They’ll have to tell Stark. It would be best not to actually introduce him to James though. James will wait for that. Until Barnes and Stark have firmly established the relationship. If they have a strong start before bringing James into it, it’ll go better. If they can work this out with Stark, then they’ll be able to work it out when James finds his own soulmate. James can share. He just hopes Stark can share.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony finally emerges from the shop in the early hours of the morning. He hadn’t been able to shut down his mind. Playing different scenarios over and over, hoping for a better outcome. In some of his imaginings, he and Barnes did work it out. He doesn’t particularly want to risk trying. Rejection is painful. But if the opportunity presents itself, he’ll make an effort to come to an agreement they can both live with.

As he’s rummaging through the common floor’s kitchen searching for a bag of coffee, he hears a scuff on the linoleum. A deliberate scuff if he’s not mistaken. He hadn’t heard any other evidence of an approach, so the noise was made on purpose. He’d rather not do this now. But that seems to not be his choice.

He turns to the doorway to see Barnes in pajama pants and an undershirt. Those 40’s boys and their inability to wear only one layer is amusing.

“Barnes. Morning. Or evening. Whatever. You get settled in? Your floor should be ready for you in two days.”

“Stark. Tony. I kinda put my foot in it. I was surprised. I wasn’t upset or anything. I’d take it back if I could. I always thought I’d say something suave, like ‘hello gorgeous’ or ‘I’ve been waiting for you all my life’. Instead, I just fucked it all up. I’m sorry.”

Tony had been prepared to end the conversation and flee the room as quickly as possible. But Barnes was apologizing. He sounded sincere. He didn’t sound like he hated Tony. Or like he already regretted being saddled with Tony for a soulmate. Maybe he’d spent all night fretting over a mistake instead of a rejection.

“Yeah? Would I be the ‘gorgeous’ in this imaginary conversation? Or were you counting on a girl?”

Barnes laughed! His face lit up and his eyes practically glowed when he laughed. He was a very attractive man. Being soulmates with a guy this pretty would not be a hardship.

“You are definitely ‘gorgeous’. I thought I’d match with a dame when I was in Brooklyn, before the war. But in Europe, I realized it didn’t matter. I like men just as well. Now? I didn’t expect anyone. I knew my soulmate was alive, but I thought they were in an old folk’s home somewhere. Thought I’d well and truly lost my chance. Thought I deserved to have lost it. I wasn’t expecting you at all. Hence my utter stupidity last night.”

“Well, to be fair, ‘freezer pop’ probably wasn’t all that great either. Want to start over?”

Barnes smiled and nodded. Tony stuck out his hand to shake.

“Hello, gorgeous. I’m Tony.”

“I’ve been waiting for you all my life. And, I’m Bucky.”

===

Bucky had barely slept a wink. He’d tossed and turned in Steve’s spare room until he just couldn’t take it anymore. Steve’s kitchen was bare, so he decided to head back to the common floor to find something warm to drink. Maybe some heated milk or hot chocolate would help him finally sleep.

He and Steve had talked about soulmates. Steve’s had been Peggy. She was in a nursing home now. 96 years old. Some days she didn’t remember that Steve was really alive. Some days she didn’t remember that she was old, or that 70 years had passed. That’s what Bucky thought he had to look forward to. Instead, he’d found Stark. And ruined it.

Speaking of Stark, he was in the kitchen. He obviously hadn’t heard Bucky coming. The carpet muffled sound and Bucky was trained to be as silent as possible. He purposefully dragged the sole of his foot on the linoleum and paused just inside the entryway. Tony turned toward him. He looked grim. And tired. He apparently hadn’t slept any better than Bucky. Possibly even worse.

“Barnes. Morning. Or evening. Whatever. You get settled in? Your floor should be ready for you in two days.”

So, Stark wanted it to be like that, huh? Bucky really didn’t want it to be awkward. He just wanted to repair the damage he’d done. He’d just try being honest.

“Stark. Tony. I kinda put my foot in it. I was surprised. I wasn’t upset or anything. I’d take it back if I could. I always thought I’d say something suave, like ‘hello gorgeous’ or ‘I’ve been waiting for you all my life’. Instead, I just fucked it all up. I’m sorry.”

Bucky waited. He’d let Stark think for a minute. See if he could accept the apology. Find out if the relationship was dead before it started. He was hopeful. Steve had said Stark was difficult, but not impossible. Not unreasonable. If Bucky was going to have a soulmate after all, and after all this time, he could afford to be patient.

 “Yeah? Would I be the ‘gorgeous’ in this imaginary conversation? Or were you counting on a girl?”

Bucky laughed. He couldn’t help himself. This was going to work! Stark was willing to try. He might not forgive Bucky just yet, but he was going to give Bucky a chance to fix it. It was almost more than he had hoped for.

“You are definitely ‘gorgeous’. I thought I’d match with a dame when I was in Brooklyn, before the war. But in Europe, I realized it didn’t matter. I like men just as well. Now? I didn’t expect anyone. I knew my soulmate was alive, but I thought they were in an old folk’s home somewhere. Thought I’d well and truly lost my chance. Thought I deserved to have lost it. I wasn’t expecting you at all. Hence my utter stupidity last night.”

Bucky had never gone with a man in Brooklyn. He had been attracted to women, so there was no reason to even try. Once he’d gotten to the war though, men had been abundant, and woman hadn’t. He’d quickly come to realize that he just didn’t care, he enjoyed them equally. Tony was very easy on the eyes. Learning to love him wasn’t going to be a chore.

“Well, to be fair, ‘freezer pop’ probably wasn’t all that great either. Want to start over?”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile. He nodded quickly. Stark stuck out his hand to shake.

“Hello, gorgeous. I’m Tony.”

“I’ve been waiting for you all my life. And, I’m Bucky.”

===

James was relieved. Barnes had straightened things out with Stark. Soon, they could move ahead with telling Stark that James existed. James would stay out if it for now. Better to let the two of them get to know each other before bringing another person into it.

In the meantime, James was having a little trouble being in the tower. He was glad they had decided to keep his presence quiet for now. The other Avengers set him on edge. Even with Barnes as a buffer, being around so many trained fighters was nerve-racking. James felt like his fight-or-flight response was constantly alert. And The Winter Soldier much preferred fight.

While Tony and Barnes sat together in the kitchen getting to know one another, James started plotting his options for being front and center in their body. Maybe he’d been rash to think he wanted to be out much. He was better geared for combat and strategic planning. Socializing was not his forte.


	7. Chapter 7

Tony was eager to get started on his relationship with Bucky. But Bucky had only been away from HYDRA for about a year. Given his continued recovery, they were going to need to take it slow. His mind and memories were a work in progress and Tony didn’t want to push him beyond his comfort zone. So, slow it was.

Their first date was a simple dinner in Tony’s apartment. Take out, because cooking was too much pressure for Tony, and eating in because out was too much pressure for Bucky. They’d told each other bits of their life stories. Tony had been ecstatic to hear embarrassing stories of tiny, angry Steve. They’d ended the night with cuddling on the sofa watching a late-night talk show. While Tony was usually freer with physical affection, he didn’t want to cross Bucky’s autonomy boundaries.

Their second and third dates were similar. Watching a movie in the recreation room, eating food that Tony had ordered in, and snuggling together as their means of getting to know one another’s bodies. Tony was content with the level of romance they had established, it was comforting to get to know someone slowly. And getting to know Bucky, as a person, at an emotional level, was the best thing that Tony had ever felt.

Bucky had asked that they go out for their next date. They had eaten at small, nearby restaurant to avoid attention. They’d then walked back to the tower. They’d held hands and bumped shoulders the whole way. In the lobby, Bucky had tugged Tony closer and slipped his flesh hand along Tony’s neck. The kiss that followed was soft and sweet and so tentative. As though Bucky were afraid Tony would object. Tony could tell that Bucky was still unsure and broke the kiss, instead turning it into soft nuzzling of Bucky’s jaw and feathery kisses near his ear.

They’d ridden the elevator up with their arms around each other. Bucky walked Tony to his door and Tony expected another gentle kiss. But Bucky kept his eyes on the floor and stood with his body not touching Tony’s.

“Tony, There’s something I need to talk to you about. Can I come in for a bit?”

Tony’s heart sank.

===

Bucky had never been so happy in his life. He’d had four amazing dates with Tony. He was already in love with him. But he felt so guilty about not telling him about James yet. James, for his part, had told Bucky that it may still be too soon. Bucky had been waiting, hoping that James would be more comfortable with it soon. But it didn’t seem like that was happening, and he just couldn’t keep hiding it from Tony.

The only thing James had been interested in these past few weeks was the talk Steve had with him about joining the Avengers. Not going out with them, but training and monitoring missions from the tower. James did like having something specific and purposeful to do. And he was still hesitant about meeting Tony.

Tonight, Bucky had finally gotten up the nerve to kiss Tony. He’d wanted to before, maybe all along, but he hadn’t kissed anyone since probably 1943. He was nervous and afraid of messing up. It didn’t help that HYDRA had screwed up his acceptance of touch. Or that James seemed to be particularly reluctant about that too.

Sitting across from Tony, in his living room, instead of beside him was awful. He had grown accustomed to the comfort of Tony’s arm around him. But he needed to look at Tony for this and see Tony’s reactions.

“It’s kind of hard to say. I think it’s maybe hard to explain, but maybe the explaining is easy, it’s the understanding that I think will be a problem.”

“I’m sure it’s fine Bucky. Just tell me. We’ll work it out.”

“The Winter Soldier. He was what HYDRA made me. When they scraped my brain out and put it in the blender, I was left hollow. All of me was gone, and something had to fill that void. They thought they programmed me into The Winter Soldier. But it wasn’t really like that. Instead, it was like a part of me that I was unaware of came in to fill that hole. Like I broke apart instead of just breaking down. The Winter Soldier is me, but he’s also himself. They gave him purpose and missions, but they thought he was me. I’m messing this up. I read a couple books in the library about this. The Winter Soldier is his own person. But he lives in my body. It’s a split personality?”

“A split personality. Wow. Okay. That’s. Yeah, that’s a lot.”

“I’m so sorry Tony. I should have told you before, but I was afraid. And, even though I’m telling you now, he still didn’t want me to do it yet. He’s still afraid. I mean, he wanted you to know, but he is so…I don’t know. He’s not used to people? He’s just there. He stays in the back, he doesn’t interfere unless we agree that he can come out.”

“You can agree with him? Communicate? He can come out?”

“Yeah. We came to an understanding after HYDRA. It’s my body first really. And I’m the one who has the real-life experience. He’s all missions and orders and doing things just so. He doesn’t want to be a killer anymore, but he doesn’t really know how to be a person yet. And Steve would hate it. So, I’m here. And he listens and watches, but he doesn’t want to interact with anyone now.”

“He doesn’t want to meet me?”

“No, well yes. I mean, he does, but not now. Eventually. He doesn’t know when. He’s a little overwhelmed with everyone at the tower. He feels hypervigilant here. It’s not relaxing. Not a good environment for making friends just yet.”

Tony spent an hour holding Bucky in his arms on the sofa before Bucky finally returned to his own rooms.

===

James let himself slip into the midst of Bucky and Tony’s dates. Just a little. He was going to have to live with Tony for a long time. He wanted to feel him out a little bit. He could feel the thrum of excitement in their body when Tony was close by. But it wasn’t his thrum. He didn’t get that low, heated thrill from physical proximity that Bucky was experiencing. He liked Tony. He liked that Tony made Bucky happy. He liked having Tony around and listening to the hyper monologue of Tony’s science babble.

Maybe he just wasn’t built for romance. What if he found his own soulmate and they wanted a love affair and he couldn’t give it to them? If he stayed in the background, let Barnes do all the driving, he wouldn’t have to ruin his own soulmate encounter. He’d been rash with Barnes initial failure. James couldn’t imagine trying to woo someone. Whatever HYDRA had contributed to his personality, it didn’t seem to have included a sex drive.

And now, against James’ preferences, Bucky had gone ahead and told Tony about him. Yes, he knew they needed to tell Tony. He wanted to tell Tony. But he had worried that Tony wouldn’t accept it. Or that Tony would demand to talk to him before he was ready. Dealing with the dates and dealing with the other fighters in the tower was hard enough. He just wasn’t ready for more. He had thought he was, but it was harder than he had expected.

Tony knew now. And he had taken it well. And he had accepted James’ feelings about a meeting. It was more than James had hoped for. And it had made Bucky happy. Having Bucky happy was important. Having Tony happy was important. When he was more sure of his ability to socialize, his own being happy was going to be important, too.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony spends another month courting Bucky. They’ve moved past cuddling and on to an intense level of clothed making out. Whatever is going on in the back of Bucky’s head, with James, is preventing anything further. Apparently, James isn’t interested in sex and is currently still nervous that what happens between Bucky and Tony is going to end up being something he isn’t allowed to have a choice in. reassuring someone he can’t even talk to is challenging.

In the meantime, Tony has realized that he really needs to clear the air with Bucky on his own situation.

“I appreciate that you told me about The Winter Soldier, James. I really do. And I am more than willing to live with another personality inside you. Once he’s ready to meet me and we can get to know each other, I am going to make every effort to get along with him. But, there’s something else, too. Something I have to tell you. And it isn’t any easier than you having James.”

“Yeah? I’m sure it’ll be okay Tony. You’ve been so accepting, you can’t believe I’d be anything else. Don’t sound so nervous. Please. Just tell me whatever it is.”

“Okay. Right. So, you have a second person in your head. I have a second soulmate’s words on my other arm.”

Things are very quiet for a minute. Tony’s insecurities rear their head. He has spent his20 years hiding that he has two soulmates. No one in their right mind would want their partner, lover, spouse, whatever, to have someone else equally important in their heart. This is so much bigger than even a split personality. This is more than mentally sharing a body, this could mean physically sharing the body of your lover. No one would want that. Bucky is going to be polite and then he’ll politely bow out of Tony’s life.

“James has a soulmate too.”

Okay. That was unexpected. Now the minute of silence is heavily weighted on both sides of the conversation. Being honest with himself is something Tony has always prided himself on. If he needs Bucky to accept that he has another soulmate sometime in his future, then he really has to also accept that Bucky’s body does too. To be fair, it is just the sort of luck Tony has always had anyway. One complication is never enough. There have to be more obstacles than a hurdle race.

“Wow. So, that’s going to make this a crowded relationship. God, there’ll be five of us! The logistics are going to be a mess.”

===

Bucky hadn’t really thought about it like that. It’s true though. Himself, James, Tony, whomever James’ soulmate is AND Tony’s other soulmate. Because Tony has a second soulmate. Realizing there will be five people in this relationship throws Bucky for a loop. He’d been ready for James’ soulmate, in his mind at least. But to know that Tony also has a second is startling. Complicated is an understatement. It bears some thinking about. Since he and Tony had exchanged words, he’d been flying high and not really concentrating on anything else. James had retreated a bit.

Bucky knew James was starting to have second thoughts. His continued reluctance to make an appearance since living in the tower may be a problem. They’d still never followed through on the agreed sharing of time in charge of their body. Bucky has been happy that he has gotten so much time being present with Tony. But he’s worried that James’ holding back is going to cause issues. James has been the one present for so much of the past 70 years, Bucky isn’t sure if James is just too tired to bother or if the circumstances are really just messing with him that much.

===

Tony has another soulmate. This is more than James thought he’d have to deal with. He’s been retreating more and more from listening to Bucky and Tony’s relationship. They’re getting more physical and he just has no interest in doing that. He doesn’t mind that they do, he just doesn’t want to be along for the ride.

And he still can’t relax with the other team members around. He’s constantly on alert when the spies are in the same room. He’s gotten accustomed to Steve. Banner though, it’s like the Hulk is the one standing beside him whenever Banner is near. The spies are the worst of it. Setting off every alarm his senses have. He can’t seem to convince himself that they’re his allies.

The Avengers finally have a mission, and Bucky is sent to the control room to monitor and observe. James is completely in his element during the battle. He takes over the body for the first time in the tower. He revels in pointing out enemy locations and suggesting strategical changes to their battle. It’s the most relaxed he’s been in months.

When the team returns, he lets Bucky take the driver’s seat again. But he finds that he can accept the presence of the Avengers better now. Having been allowed to be a part of the team has let his hindbrain assign them as allies in his subconscious. Bucky isn’t ready for going on missions yet, but James wishes Steve would let him anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted someone's comment. I feel AWFUL about it. It was a nice comment. But it totally guessed my plotline.  
> Please, everybody, ANYTIME you read a WIP, guessing plot stuff could derail the story. If everyone else reads your comment, then they will have a plot in their head whether your guess is right or wrong. And if you guess correctly, then it might look like the author is copying your own plotline.  
> I don't know. I might just be sensitive. It just really really threw me.  
> So, apologies, true-sincere-honest, apologies to the commenter that lost their comment. Does it help at all that I acknowledge to you in this note that you totally predicted my story? I hope I write it as well as you've imagined it.

Tony loves the relationship he has with Bucky. Everything is going great. They have dates, both in the tower and out. They have long talks, getting to know everything about each other. They have slow, beautiful make-out sessions and hot, steamy moments that are leading somewhere else quickly. It’s wonderful, it really is.

But Tony is waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knows that “James” is lurking in the background. He’d like to meet James. He wants to talk to him, get to know him. Make friends. He’s getting worried because that isn’t happening. James will not come out to meet him. Tony is beginning to think it might be something about him that is the problem.

Bucky has told him, again and again, that James was very eager to keep control of their body when they left HYDRA. James wanted to have equal time and opportunity to get to know the world. Have a chance to learn to live on his own. But James hasn’t been out to meet anyone the whole time he’s been at the tower. Bucky says not to worry, that James is just overwhelmed with the real world.

Tony can’t shake the feeling of nervousness and apprehension though.

===

Bucky is so happy he can hardly stand it. He has the best soulmate ever. Being with Tony is helping him overcome the issues he had leftover from his time with HYDRA. Tony is caring and careful and loving. And so generous, not just with his money, but with his affections and his desire to help as much as he can. It’s like heaven. And so much better than the hell of HYDRA.

He’s a little worried about James. James has still resisted getting to know any of the people on the team, including Tony. Since being allowed to monitor missions, James has become more relaxed in the back of Bucky’s mind when they’re around the Avengers, but he refuses to come forward. They’ve had a lot of conversations, but James just isn’t ready.

Bucky has tried to convince him that he needs to be out so he can find his own soulmate. But James seems to have nearly lost interest in finding them. Bucky worries, but James tries to reassure him that it’s his choice and Bucky has to let him make his own choices. Just as he is letting Bucky make his own. But Bucky can’t help but feel like James is pulling further away instead of trying to be more involved.

The other thing that they talk about most is their worry for Tony. Bucky watches missions from behind James’ awareness. They both worry about Tony being out there without one of them to guard his back. They trust the team, they really do, but Tony has more initiative than anyone else besides Steve. He makes decisions in battle that the others don’t anticipate, so he ends up in the midst of violence more than they’re comfortable with. He is so confident because of the armor, He seems to not care as much about his own safety. Bucky is overwhelmed with the amount of worry and stress that James radiates during missions. He’s getting worried that James isn’t going to be patient enough to wait for field clearance.

===

James is feeling out of sorts since moving into the tower. Bucky has a soulmate to love and a great relationship to enjoy. He doesn’t have to worry about Bucky. He likes what he sees of Tony. He trusts Bucky to take care of their body and not do anything with it without consulting him first. Although, he’s pretty sure Bucky is going to be wanting to do things with their body soon that James isn’t sure he wants to do. He’s been practicing moving further back into their mind. If he collects his consciousness and focuses it away, he can retreat enough to not participate in Bucky’s life. He’s been doing it after the dinner portions of their dates. When they’re more likely to be intimate. James is not comfortable with the intimacy.

He had no idea things were going to be like this. He thought he was going to have a real life, find his soulmate, do things, maybe be an Avenger. Make amends for the life he led with HYDRA. But, maybe all he’s good for is fighting and killing. He likes Tony, he is so happy for Bucky and his soulmate. But, maybe he shouldn’t find his own. He has no interest in kissing or groping. He didn’t mind the cuddling from the first month or so. Things just keep escalating. Not too quickly, but definitely steadily. There won’t be any turning back. And James just doesn’t want to have to do all of that. Certainly not if he’s the one in charge of their body. His soulmate would be disappointed and unhappy. He may as well not bother finding them at all.

James can’t stand sitting back in the tower while Bucky’s soulmate goes into battle. He really does adore Tony and the influence Tony has had on Bucky. Bucky being happy has made so much of James’ own stability better. Tony needs to be safe. He’s good for them. The Avenger’s last mission had tried his patience to near its breaking point. He conveys his concerns to Bucky and they finally agree that waiting around isn’t what either of them wants. Protecting Tony is more important than following Steve’s order to remain behind. When the next assembly call comes, James and Bucky have already made their agreement. No more waiting.

James takes control of their body and goes to the armory. It’s been left unlocked for mission equipping and the number of guns and explosives is dizzying. James chooses his firearms carefully. A long-range weapon is best for staying off the team’s radar. Some knives in case he has to come in close. A few grenades never go amiss. Two smaller handguns with full clips, just in case. And some tac gear.

The Avengers are just a few blocks away and James reaches their location in minutes. He chooses a perch high enough to have eyes on the entire fight. For the most part, all he needs to do is observe. He watches Tony fight from the sky. Seeing the armor in action is beautiful. And Tony is ruthless in battle. James decides that he may be ready to meet Tony after all. They could be friends. They could talk battle and science. And it would make him happy, maybe not as happy as a soulmate would have if he thought he could have a relationship, but they could be very good friends if he tried. He could be happy without a soulmate.

Tony is brought to the ground by a misshapen hyena thing that can leap 30 feet in the air. The armor unmoving on the ground. The thing that hit him is looming over him. James takes aim and shoots the hyena right in the head. It falls to the ground. Tony doesn’t get up though. James jumps several floors down the fire escape and then several more, finally hitting the ground running. He crouches beside Tony. There’s blood seeping from under the armor. Bucky is clamoring for his attention inside his head, but he can’t let go yet. He, personally, has to make sure that Tony is okay.

He knocks on the helmet. Tony opens the faceplate. He’s conscious and his eyes are clear. James breathes a deep sigh of relief. James feels a smile spread across their face. He has never smiled with their face before. He really shouldn’t have put off meeting Tony.

"You need someone watching your back, guess it'll be me."

“It’s you. Of course, it’s you!”

If James thought he was smiling before, he really had no clue what was happening now. It was so much more. Tony was his soulmate!


	10. Chapter 10

It was a mission like any other. Nothing special. Unless hybrid hyena things were special. These could leap 30 feet in the air, so that was pretty special. And their teeth were huge.

Tony had been up high for most of the fight. Using his repulser blasts to chase the hyenas away from civilians and keep them corralled close to the rest of the Avengers. He’d had to come down to get a better angle on a hyena that was under an overhang and catching people as they fled down the sidewalk. The hyena had moved quicker than Tony had thought they could. It had leapt out from hiding and its teeth had sunk into the metal of his thigh. It had let go and then caught him again by the bottom of his boot and cracked the repulser. He’d gone down hard.

The impact had made his head woozy. He figured he probably had a concussion. Just laying there for a minute would probably be okay. Then Bucky had been at his side. Bucky, who was supposed to be in the tower. Bucky, who was knocking on his helmet and looked mad enough to kill someone.

Tony opened his faceplate. Why was Bucky out of the tower? He looked different. His face was set in an expression Tony had never seen. It was a combination of murder glare and fear. Then, Bucky’s face broke into a dazzling smile.

“You need someone watching your back, guess it'll be me.”

What? Those were his other words. His second soulmate’s words. The whole world, except for this conversation, went silent in Tony’s head. How could Bucky be saying his other words? Oh. This wasn’t Bucky. This was James. James was his other soulmate.

“It’s you. Of course, it’s you!”

James smile became even brighter. Tony sat up and retracted one suit glove. He touched James’ hand. The silence broke and the noise of battle rushed back in. Tony looked around, the hyena that had bitten him was dead and slumped over one of his legs. A neat hole right between its eyes.

“Well, James. Let’s call these dogs off and then get back to the tower. We’ve got some time to make up for.”

===

When James became too agitated to sit in the monitoring room, Bucky caved and gave him what he wanted. It wasn’t as though James was the only one worrying about Tony. It was actually nice that James was just as concerned about his well-being as Bucky was. It made Bucky happy to know that James liked Tony this much. It meant that when they finally met, things were going to go smoothly. They were going to get along great. But for now, James needed to take them out to the fight and keep an eye on Tony’s back.

The Avengers were fighting off some bizarre mutated dogs. Hyenas, maybe. Tony spent most of the fight high above the reach of them. Bucky felt James’ satisfaction that Tony was safe where he was. Until Tony came down too close to the ground and one of the hyenas got the drop on him. When the hyena latched onto Tony’s leg, James shot it right in the head and took off towards them.

Bucky felt all of James’ fears and anxieties at that moment. It was overwhelming. James’ feelings for Tony were much stronger than Bucky had realized. James’ emotions and Bucky’s own were tangling together and sending them both spiraling to the limits of their control. The fear heightened further when they crouched beside Tony and he hadn’t gotten up yet.

Bucky fought against James inside their mind for dominance. Demanding to be allowed out to check on Tony. James refused to give way. Bucky was desperate and afraid. They’d never discussed the possibility that one of them would refuse to let the other out when they wanted.

“You need someone watching your back, guess it'll be me.”

“It’s you. Of course, it’s you!”

Oh. Alright then. Bucky settled back and let James keep the wheel.

===

James spent the entire evening on the sofa with Tony. He had enjoyed the cuddling through Bucky, but this was so much better. He was currently lying with his head in Tony’s lap. Tony was carding his fingers through his hair, occasionally brushing against his ear. It was divine. James had never been so relaxed in his entire existence.

James had been afraid that Tony would be unhappy about having him for a soulmate. He had practically burst out his fears as soon as they were alone. He’d rushed into telling Tony that he didn’t want to kiss him or have sex with him. Maybe if he got it all out there, right away, they could just get on with it. He was making an even bigger mess of this than Bucky had!

James was sure he could convince Bucky that his turns to be in control could happen outside the tower. Maybe on a shooting range. Far from the Avengers. Far from Tony.

But Tony had already played this game with Bucky. Disastrous-soulmate-introduction was now his specialty. He’d told James that no kisses and no sex were fine. It was not a deal-breaker. Some people weren’t into that sort of thing. Tony didn’t mind at all. They could be platonic soulmates. Or, romantic soulmates without having to be sexual ones. James had no idea there were even options.

It made sense now that he wasn’t panicking. If a soulmate was made for you. Only for you. Perfect for you in every way, then of course they would understand. Of course, there would be different types of relationships. Everyone in the world was supposedly unique. So, every relationship would have to be unique as well.

And now, James was falling asleep in Tony’s lap. And Bucky was quiet and resting in the back of their mind. And they were all safe and in one space. And they were all together.


End file.
